She can't remember the last time she wore mascara, for fear of the trail it would leave on her face. As she runs the brush through her top lashes, it makes her smile. She feels a little like herself again. Another coat and the smile lingers.
A knock on the door. A familiar face. A taxi. A country band. Dance it out. She isn't looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now. She's looking for herself. Someone she lost long ago. Don't be frightened. Dance it out. Shortly after she moved into her apartment she bought a Fugee's CD. And a mug.
A mug that no one has drank from, and no one will. A mug that reminded her of him. This mug has sat in her cupboard for over a month, upside down. Waiting. Waiting to be filled with coffee. Coffee that would be sipped while enjoying a conversation. A conversation about nothing, yet everything. Everything that mattered, and nothing that didn't. The mug waits for its owner, who may never come. She always held things inside. Don't show emotion. Don't show fear. What ever you do, don't show vulnerability.
She was tough. Nothing hurts her. Nothing bothers her. She adapts. But this, this was too much. She wasn't prepared for this. She thought she was.. years and years of putting up walls and reinforcing them. She always knew that when the day came ( because it ALWAYS came) she would be ready. She was wrong. The walls that she carefully maintained had been crumbling, there was a gate she never knew existed. He entered it, and destroyed her walls from the inside out. Now she tries frantically to find their pieces and build them up again. But they continuously crumble in her hands. The walls, not only protect her but keep everything locked inside. Now her mind is full of random thoughts and memories. Feelings; Terrible gut-wrenching feelings. All previously contained, now running rampant throughout her consciousness. She needs to get it out. It's making her crazy. So she types - the modern day version of pen and paper. She will inject them into the keys, locking them forever on the screen. |
365 Storieschallenge
The Challenge: Write something everyday, for 365 days. Original entries posted on Instagram @sarahhashtags Archives
May 2016
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